Abraham and the Next 12 Steps

Guest: I work in health care.
Abraham: Good. Do you have anything in your pocket?(Laughter – Esther has a cold and is coughing and has laryngitis)
Guest: One of the things I do is I work with a group – a small group of displaced individuals who – teenagers, mostly – who have been taken away from their homes because of addictions like alcoholism and drugs and one of the things they have to do in the facility is to follow your classic 12 step program and they are being taught that they're alcoholics and that's a disease and they'll forever and ever have that disease, and I find this contradiction in myself in that I want to teach them to do whatever makes them feel best, but for them, very often, that means drinking a bottle of vodka or, you know what I'm saying? They're just – I can't seem to get that straight in my head and as to how to - I don't want to -I don't think they should be labeled with a life-long disease. That seems to limit their choices and ability to move forward. But on the other hand, by telling them "do whatever feels best for you" half of them will be running out in the street or even if they just say, "Oh, I'm just going to have one drink 'cause makes me feel better." Inevitably they have 12 or whatever and then it just continues the cycle which just makes them worse and worse even though their original intention was, "I doing this `cause it makes me feel better."
Abraham: Do you know the steps?
Guest: Um hum
Abraham: Speak them.
Guest: Well, the first one is that they have to admit that they are powerless over alcohol and that their lives have become unmanageable.
Abraham: Can't be helpful.
Guest: No, and that's the most important one. I mean they have to admit that they have no, ah, power over their own lives.
Abraham: We cannot see how that can be helpful. Can you?
Guest: Um um . But on the other hand, it does, very often, if they stick with the program, they will stop drinking, at least for periods of time and some of the people who come in a volunteer have been sober for 30 years. But they are terrified of ever even, you know, smelling alcohol `cause they're sure that they would be right back there. So it's ah, I'm having trouble with how to approach that.
Abraham: Well, what's the second step?
Guest: You would ask that. Anybody? (laughs) Came to believe that there is a power greater than ourselves.
Abraham: (Esther sneezes) That's loud. Must be something wrong with the microphones. (Cough Cough Cough)
Jerry: I didn't get to hear that one. (off mic)
Guest: Came to believe that there is a power greater than myself (while Abraham is coughing)(Laughter)
Abraham: Oh, we're waiting for you.
Guest: I came to believe (Abraham coughing again). All right. I'm not going there. (Laughter)Abraham: The reason we are playing with you about this is because the most important thing to remember, first, we are, not at all, pushing against, in any way, the 12 step program because for someone whose life is in a very unpleasant place, all of those steps are downstream. In other words, when you feel totally out of control, maybe it does feel downstream for you to admit that you're out of control. And to say, "I hope there is something, some power that's greater than me that will help me", because when your life is in a mess, that's the last moment in time that you really want to crow about how in control you are. So acknowledging that you are powerless is a downstream step. You see what we are getting at? What we've noticed about the program, and we've interacted with so many people who've been part of it, is that in the beginning it is all downstream for them. But after a little while, when they begin gaining their balance, to say those same things are upstream for them. So it never really gives them the autonomy and self control that they are all reaching for. Every single one of them felt not free when they began this process that evolved into the alcoholism. In other words, you're right, they turned to the alcohol or whatever it was because it seemed like a path of least resistance. It felt better to them than where they were. And there is something that we would like somebody to say to them about the rightness of that decision. But the whole program, and in fact, almost everybody ever involved in it stands and says something else to them. They stand and say, "You were wrong to do what you did. You were not wise in what you were doing. And you should never, ever do something again ---" It's sort of like what we were saying earlier, when a person feels not free and they innately and naturally turn toward anger. That the anger that they turn toward is the most natural thing in the world, but almost everybody would stop and say, "Your anger is wrong. Your anger is misplaced." So when you are interacting with people that are experiencing the hugeness of disconnection, it's not an easy thing for you to teach them the principles from their place of strong disconnection. Something more overt and in their face is necessary. And it is easier to teach someone about action than it is to teach them about vibration. In an action oriented world it's easier to say to them, "This alcohol is your problem" than "Your vibrational countenance is your problem." So we think, if we were standing in your physical shoes, we would introduce the 12 Step Program as the first 12 steps. And we would tell them there are 12 more. And the first 12 steps are about the action part of distancing yourself from something that hasn't been working. And then once you've sort of got that under your belt, then we would begin the next 12 steps which would be about understanding that you are the creator of your own reality and that while you have been saying in the first twelve steps that there is a power that is greater than you, there has never been a power that is greater than you – you just somehow separated yourself from that greater power. But it never left you. It never was forsaking you. It was always aware of you, reaching for you, calling you toward it. You just could not hear, but it was always there. The second of the next twelve steps would be: you are the creator of your own experience, and you are doing the best that you can do every step along the way. You did the best from where you were that you could have done, and you can't go back and undo all of that. So now you have admitted all of that wrong-doing and now you have made your peace with all of those people who you have wronged. This new second step says: I did the best that I could do then, and now I'm in a better place, and it will be easier this go-around. The third thing in this new set of steps is: I am where I am. I am where I am, and where I am is all right because it has to be because it's the only choice I have. If where I am is not all right, then it's over for me. If where I am is not all right, then there's nothing else for me to do because I can't get to where I want to be when I am condemning where I am. Not possible. You can't possibly turn downstream in condemnation of where you are. So - I am where I am, and where I am not only is enough, it must be enough because it's all I've got. The fourth step in this second set is: I am a worthy being who is an extension of Source Energy, and I came forth with powerful intention and got crossways of it. And when I got crossways of it, I went nuts. Because who I AM is such a lover and such a knower of my own value. And when, somehow along my physical trail I lost sight of that, I could not abide in my own vibration. The split in me was too severe, and that's the reason I turned to something that was numbing. And while I will not turn to something that is numbing again, it is satisfying to know that when someone like me, who is Pure Positive Energy, gets crossways of who I AM, that it's going to be pain beyond pain that will require numbing. And I've never known anyone who would deny anyone some sort of a solution or solving of some kind of pain. Step five says: I will make peace with those who did not understand how I felt. For how could they? Everyone has their own emotional scale. Nobody could know what was downstream for me. Nobody could know what was a solution for me. And they all stood in such certainty that they were right when they couldn't possibly know. And so, this fifth step, in my second set of steps, is my true acknowledgment of my powerful desire to forgive them. The first set demanded that I ask for their forgiveness. In this second set, I'm prepared to give them my forgiveness. I forgive them for not understanding me. I forgive them for trying to be my guidance when they could not. I forgive them for not paying attention to how they felt so there was no way they could teach me to pay attention to how I felt. I forgive them for not upholding the knowledge of the personal guidance system. I forgive them for everything they did not understand about me. It feels good in letting all of that go. The sixth step is: I forgive all of them from this new point of view. I forgive them for not only not seeing me as I am, but for not seeing themselves as they are either. I allow them, which is more than forgiving, I allow them to be whoever they are even if who they are being is critical of me for I accept that they cannot see me accurately from their point of view. And I no longer need alcohol or drugs to numb the discord that I felt when I saw that I could not achieve their approval. I'm giving up my need for your approval in this step, and in giving up my need for your approval, I have set you free, but more important, I have set myself free. The seventh step in this second set of 12 steps is: now that I am more sure of who I am and now I'm beginning to return to the eagerness of life that is innate within me, it is my promise to myself that even if I were to do something that formerly I thought was a mistake that I am determined that I will offer no self-condemnation ever again. This may be the most important step of all. I acknowledge that the Source within me never gives up on me, and the only reason I ever feel bad is because I do. So in this step I am pronouncing to the world I am absolving myself of all guilt relative to action. And if I should, and it could happen, ever take a drink again, it is my promise to myself I'm not going back through those first 12 steps. (laughter) Because I am where I am, and because Source continues to adore me, and because there is always downstream from wherever I am, and I don't have to start over every time again. I know too much. I've come too far. The next step in the second set of 12 steps is: sincere appreciation for the first 12 steps. Because they were there for me when I most needed them. I could not even begin to see this second set from where I was and there they were – tangible and real – and they helped me. They don't now, but they did then. They were bridges that were valuable, and I will feel eternal appreciation for their existence. Number 10: I am appreciating everything that ever gave me grief because from it was born clarity of desire. I'm not sorry for one thing that I ever lived through. I'm not even sorry for what I put you through. Because in my dealing with the contrast of the life that I created, I've launched rockets of desire, and I can feel a brighter future that would not be there if it had not been for that. The eleventh step is: I encourage no one to go through what I went through in order to get where I am. I acknowledge it could have been easier for me if I had been willing to pay attention to the way I feel, if I had listened to my own guidance, if I had been able to turn downstream earlier on without being pinned into that corner of feeling not free, I could have turned into my alignment and my allowing without the help or the aid of the drugs. The last and final step is: I adore knowing that I am the creator of my own reality. And I take full credit, not responsibility, I take full credit for the amazing life that I am in the process of creating. I aspire to see myself through the eyes of Source. And I think all 24 steps are part of me now being able to do that. And now I would like to announce to the world I am healed. I am whole. I am free. I am love. And it might be only temporary, but if I ever slip from it, I know exactly what to do.(Applause)