Self-centered

Questioner:Can you offer us some words we can use to practice, when we are by ourselves that would shore up this notion of putting how we feel above what others think.
Abraham:I love you so much I don't care what you think!Think about what that is saying...I so care about being in vibrational alignment with who I am. Because if i'm in vibrational alignment then I HAVE love to give. But if I care more about what you want then my own guidance then, im not tuned in, taped in and have nothing to give. I love you so much I don't care what you think.
Arizona cd 4 track 12 1-3-2008

When someone adores you, in their appreciation of you their in alignment with source energy and they are flooding it all over you. And since its activated in them its activated in you, so you got this really good thing going.. But then as you become dependent upon their appreciation of you in order to feel that way- when they withdraw their appreciation of you, and you haven't learned to connect to that source energy yourself, then you feel like a puppet that someone has let go of the strings. And so if you're a confident person, if you shown yourself that your free no matter what anyone else thinks, and that you can feel good no matter what's happening around you, if you've been practicing that unconditional love that says 'I'm going to feel good because I wanna feel good', and I'm gonna scramble around by darn, and find something thats gonna make me feel good even in a field of things that don't feel good, because my connection to source matters to me morethen all other things put together- then nothing that anybody could ever do would set you off your game.>>>>You've been looking toward what others think, you've been trained that way, that you transfer that to your new love. You say I care so much about how you feel about me, that I will disregard how I FEEL. And then that one being the fickle one, LETS YOU DOWN, EVERY TIME. No one can hold you consistently as their object of their attention, as source would. Everyone is blaming everyone else for their own insecurity. We have to say YOU'RE insecure because you didn't decide to be secure. Your not strong because YOU decided somebody else was strong, which made you weak. You don't feel good, because you didn't INSIST on feeling good. And then you didn't practice it, and then you say YOU hurt my feelings. We would get in a place where our feelings are UNHURTABLE. We would be in a place where we are so connected to source that it didn't matter WHAT anyone was thinking or saying or doing!
Tarrytown workshop Oct 9 2004

Many say to you, "Don't be selfish."Many say to you, "Don't be selfish." And what they mean is, "Satisfy my selfish intent, not your own. I'd be a lot happier if you were doing the things I need you to do in order for me to be happy". And so, the best gift that you could give to anyone, would be to be a liver of unconditional love. In other words, you're loving them, even though they're not loving you because you're not doing what they need you to do in order for them to loveyou. But it is not keeping you from loving them.*Excerpted from the workshop in Kona, HI*

Do you know the relationship that you are all looking for? Do you know what it really is?You want the relationship between you and you. And when you meet a person who looks fondly at you, or who is appreciative of you, or someone you look fondly upon, or someone you appreciate, it just hooks you up to your Inner Being, which is what you want all along.So the relationship you are all looking for is the relationship between you and you. And everything else is just helpful in that, really.Don't you find that interesting? That what you really want is a reason to vibrationally connect with who you really are.And so, you ask so much of people because you say to them, "You need to be the one who causes me to feel good." And what we want to say to all of you is:If any of you are without the relationship of your dreams right now, that's a wonderful thing. Because now you have an opportunity to work on the relationship that really matters first and foremost. And then, in that connection, the relationship of your dreams will come.But you are going to discover the relationship of your dreams is really your own Inner Being. It's that infusion of clarity and confidence and wellness, that's what you are reaching for.And it is nice to have a human friend who holds you as their object of attention and adores you right into your connection. But we want you to experience greater independence than that. We want you to say to you lovers, "I love you, but I don't live for you. Because Source Energy flows through me. You are a catalyst to my well-being, but you are not essential to my well-being. Because I've got that figured out on my own. I have reached for thoughts that give me relief and I have relieved myself all the way into my full connection of who I really am. And now we can just dance and play together."Can you feel how you take them off the hook? In other words, do you know how many men would flock to you.? (ALL OF THEM!). If they knew that you would allow them to be as they are and you would not hold them responsible for your happiness.That's what everyone wants. How much bondage is there in believing that your happiness depends on me, so I've got to figure out what you want, and stand on my head in all those different ways, and it's not even possible!The greatest gift you can give anyone is to be happy. And we will take that further. The greatest gift you can give to any partner, past, present or future is to be so connected with who you truly are that they are irrelevant to your connection. And when they are irrelevant to your connection, then you are going to have a really good time together.
San Diego 2/7/04B

If you are not selfish enough to deliberately align with the Energy of your Source, you have nothing to give away. Some worry that if they take too much of the pie, others will be left with nothing; while, in reality, the pie expands in proportion to the vibrational requests of all of you."
Ask and It's Given cards